Pick One
by BathroomIdeas178
Summary: "What is it that you don't know? You don't know I'm looking at you, or you don't know how you know it?" "Both". You smile. "It can't be. You can only pick one". Translation of the story 'Sólo Una', AH, some curse words and a bit of slightly green scenes.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so… this is the translation of **_**Sólo Una, **_**if anyone of you is curious, or would rather read it in Spanish, check it out.**

**I've done as best as I could with the translation, but because it's not my first language and I'm a human being, there can be mistakes. I would love you to correct me if you're polite doing so. The translation is as accurate as I could make it, but when I had problems I put meaning before form so it's not made word-by-word.**

**I don't own any recognizable characters, and… yeah, that's it.**

_The fear of death follows from the fear of life._

_A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time_

(Mark Twain)

Boom boom.

I can't feel it.

Boom boom.

"Cullen, Cullen. Doctor Cullen's injured… ambulance…"

"Newton, call…"

Boom boom.

There's nothing, just voices without faces.

Boom boom.

"A bullet's wound… collarbone and shoulder… Possible concussion… Too much blood loss… Surgery".

…

…

…

And then, I see you.

We are in our bed.

On a Saturday's morning, your favorite day.

I'm running my finger down your spine, drawing circles and curve lines.

I think you've never known you have exactly two moles and three freckles in your back, but I do.

I've always liked to count them.

Sometimes, a new one appears or disappears.

I kiss them all before I go.

Every time I leave.

You like to lean your head on my chest when you sleep, so when I get up I have your whole back and half of your face to admire.

You look like an angel. And it makes me never want to leave again.

Maybe I should have stayed.

I may never ever forgive myself for having missed all those Saturdays by your side.

On Saturdays you have a special light in your eyes.

That's why it's my favorite day, as well.

Right now I'm admiring how your eyes light up when you smile.

You're laughing because my finger has grazed that ticklish point you have.

I know which Saturday I'm remembering. The last one I've spent with you, two months ago.

I know it because you're talking to me, and your words are familiar.

"Edward…"

"Yeah?"

I know what you're going to say, but I do nothing. I can't. It's as if it was someone else who's moving, just like I did that day.

I'm just watching, now.

You take a breath, because this has never been easy for you, but you always ask. You're not a coward. You don't avoid it like I do. You confront it, instead of closing your eyes while you wait for everything to end.

"When do you leave?"

You say it in a whisper, so that your voice doesn't crack; looking somewhere else, so that I can't see that if I give you bad news you're going to cry.

But I know. Even if I decide to avoid it.

"Let's not talk about that now".

"I need to know. I want to be prepared".

I sigh. Because saying it out loud makes me face it, like you do.

And I'm not brave.

I kiss your forehead.

"I leave next week. Saturday's morning".

I say it in a whisper, too, but it's no use. You've heard it, and I've heard it.

You inhale sharply and close up part of the sheet in your fist.

"It's too soon".

I think whispering is useless, because I know you're crying.

I hold you tightly to me and kiss your hair. I stroke your cheek.

You're so beautiful and I love you so much that I can only pray that the moment you realize this is not worth it won't ever arrive.

"I'll come back".

"I know".

The question is in what kind of state.

I close my eyes and turn my head to the ceiling.

I feel your breath on my shoulder.

Minutes go by in silence.

"You're looking at me".

"How do you know?"

"I don't know".

I know you're confused and your head is trying to decipher the answer.

I open my eyes.

You choose asking. Again.

"What is it that you don't know? You don't know I'm looking at you, or you don't know how you know it?"

"Both".

You smile.

"It can't be. You can only pick one".

It has another meaning now.

I try to escape, but I can't ignore the last day's memories.

When you said those same words but with tears running down your cheeks.

When we argued like we never had and you begged me to stay with you. You couldn't bear it.

But I was an asshole and again I ignored it, and I took you to bed despite knowing that you were hurting.

As if I didn't care.

As if I only wanted you to shut up.

As if I was only using you.

The worst thing about it is that it was farewell.

The next morning you were covered up by the sheet and I couldn't count the freckles in your back.

Nor see the Saturday's light in your eyes.

I know now I'll never forgive myself for having missed all those Saturdays.

Because I may never come back in the state I should.

I may never be able to fix it.

It's life or death.

And it's not up to me, but you can only pick one.

**So… what do you think? I'd love it if you commented either in Spanish or English, because let's face it… your reviews make my day.**

**I'll post next chapter soon.**

**Kisses, Lucía.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so… this is the translation of **_**Sólo Una, **_**if anyone of you is curious, or would rather read it in Spanish, check it out.**

**I've done as best as I could with the translation, but because it's not my first language and I'm a human being, there can be mistakes. I would love you to correct me if you're polite doing so. The translation is as accurate as I could make it, but when I had problems I put meaning before form so it's not made word-by-word.**

**Thank you XxsafarixX for favoriting the story.**

**I don't own any recognizable characters, and… yeah, that's it.**

_Everything comes gradually and at its appointed hour _

(Ovid)

BPOV

I count the machine's beepings that control the heart of the one who is and will always be my whole life.

My lips' left corner raises up a little bit, because for five seconds, the beepings have matched the raindrops on the windowpane.

It seems unbelievable that after so long something so insignificant can make me smile.

I can't help thinking that maybe there will be a time in which such a horrible mechanism stops sounding.

Yes, a bullet in the shoulder.

In every single TV series they say it's the best placement to be shot.

They don't mention that if you lose enough blood and hit your head, you can die.

And if they do, I missed that chapter.

I feel horribly wrong.

Because I can lose you and the last thing I told you was to choose between your job and me.

I'd rather not think that if you're here it's because you chose the first option, but you're not the only one in the room , so I guess I haven't done my part of the deal.

Because I haven't gone anywhere.

I trade your hand I'm holding to my right hand.

You have a long scrape all over the back of your hand, from your middle finger's knuckle to the right side of your wrist. It's not deep at all, but it's an interesting detail.

I probably haven't noticed it before because of the amount of time I spend looking through the window.

It's not random; I've only looked at your face twice in your month here.

What I saw scared me.

You didn't look like a kid; you weren't vulnerable nor looked defenseless.

You looked like someone who had lost everything.

Or someone who everyone had lost.

I can't take it, I bring your hand to my lips and kiss your scrape. I inhale your essence. It's mixed with the hospital's odor, but it's present enough to calm me.

I've missed you so much.

Counting the one you've spent here, it's been three months since we last talked.

It terrifies me to think that you may not miss me… that you did what you did on purpose. To never see me again.

After all, you didn't call me nor sent me a letter in the two months you spent away.

The penetrating sounds are rushing, going faster and faster.

I have to look at you. I have to look at you before it's too late and all I see is a corpse.

I regret telling Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Emmett to go home.

Because it's probable that driving back, a suicidal impulse strikes me and takes another life along with mine. I would have nothing to lose, but maybe my victim would, and then I would create a cycle.

Come on, Bella, focus.

I look at you and count the seconds: one, two, three, four.

There is no other change. It's just you have your eyes open, now

**I know this chapter is short, but the next one will be longer, I promise :) **

**Anyone has questions?**

**Please, ask and review.**

**I'll post next chapter soon.**

**Kisses, Lucía.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay so… this is the translation of **_**Sólo Una, **_**if anyone of you is curious, or would rather read it in Spanish, check it out.**

**I've done as best as I could with the translation, but because it's not my first language and I'm a human being, there can be mistakes. I would love you to correct me if you're polite doing so. The translation is as accurate as I could make it, but when I had problems I put meaning before form so it's not made word-by-word.**

**Thank you **_**jadedghost22**_** for favoriting the story :)**

**I don't own any recognizable characters, and… yeah, that's it.**

_He was still too young to know that the_

_heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good_

(Gabriel García Márquez)

_Last chapter:_

"There is no other change.

It's just you have your eyes open, now".

BPOV (Flashback)

_I position a knee at each side of your body and sit on your stomach, with a big smile and the palms of my hands resting on your chest._

_Your smile is blinding._

_Relaxed and real. Gorgeous._

_It's another Saturday's morning with you, and it will be like that for five Saturday s more; I have a lot of reasons to be happy._

_We're naked but we're also alone, so it doesn't matter._

_I join our foreheads and tell you:_

"_I love you"._

"_I love you more". _

"_You can't know it"._

"_I doubt there's anyone in this world who has ever loved someone as much as I love you"._

_I lean back again until I'm sat like I was before and give you a smile._

"_Not even Rose and Jack?"_

"_Not even them" you confirm._

"_I love you" I repeat._

_You let out a laugh that makes me bounce and turn your head to the wall. You look at it closely._

"_Do you like it?"_

"_Of course I do. When did you put it there?"_

"_Yesterday"._

_You try to remember if you had seen hung up before the photo that is now on the wall._

_You don't success, it's possible that when you came home yesterday you were focused on other… _things.

_It's one of my favorite, from the day your sister Alice introduced us. She may have taken it._

_We were at the beach. I was with your jacket on because it was twilight and it was cold. I was looking at you. You had your arm around my shoulders and watched me with a smile._

_It may seem too close for two people who have just met, but there was something special in you from the beginning._

_I think that even if we didn't know it then, we were already in love. And we still are. As much or even more than before._

_You smile and I can see one of the dimples you have in your cheeks._

_I kiss it._

_Your smile widens and you turn to look at me._

"_You know what? You have a very sexy smile" I admit._

"_Yeah?"_

_You raise your back. Now you're sat with me on your lap._

_You kiss my neck: once, twice, three times._

_And when I feel your teeth, I start to giggle._

"_Yeah"._

_You turn us around. I'm lying with you above me and with your hands at each side of my head on the pillow._

_You bury your face in my neck and murmur against my skin:_

"_I love you"._

_And suddenly, I have a doubt._

"_Edward?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Can I ask you something?"_

_You watch me confused._

"_Sure"._

"_Have you dated anyone seriously before you met me?"  
I know you haven't exactly lacked company in the bed. In fact, Alice warned me, but the next day she told me that I didn't have anything to worry about. And I quote _'I've already seen the way he looks at you, Bella. He wouldn't damage intentionally a hair in your head'.

"_What? Why do you ask that now?"_

_You look annoyed. I think that the fact that you don't want to talk about it means it's necessary._

"_I don't know. Curiosity, I guess"._

"_Right"._

"_Does it bother you?"_

"_It doesn't" lie "it's just it's weird"._

"_Well, we had to talk about it eventually"._

"_Once"._

"_Huh?"_

"_I dated a girl for six months"._

_You lie by my side looking at the ceiling and I rest my head on your chest._

_I can't help being a little jealous, because even if I know that I'm the one that's here with you now and has your heart, six months are half a year, she had to be beautiful._

_You stroke my hair. _

"_That's a long time, what happened?"_

_You sigh._

"_It's hard to keep a relationship going when one of the couple is constantly leaving and may not return. She got tired of it. She didn't take it well and it was hurting her, so it didn't last longer. It's tough, and she stopped waiting for me"._

_You kiss my forehead. I can't help but think that maybe one day I'll be the one who can't take it._

_I wonder if that's why you didn't want to talk about it. Did you think I would grow tired, too?_

_Because it's true, I miss you too much when you leave, but that's why I would never consider leaving you permanently. It would be a contradiction._

_I look at you._

"_You've never cared enough about a girl to ask her to wait for you?"_

_You caress my cheek and look into my eyes intensely._

_You whisper:_

"_I've never before cared enough about a girl to ask her to _not_ wait for me. But now it's different. I don't want to see you suffer, Bella. You're too special for me. You may get tired one day and I don't think I can take seeing you leave, so I have to ask you: don't wait for me. If any day it becomes too much, don't wait for me"._

_I know this is hurting you, but you're honest. Tears escape my eyes._

_I hug you with all my strength and rest my cheek on the top of your head. I kiss your hair and whisper:_

"_You know I will"._

You blink once, twice, three times. I call the nurse, but you go back to sleep.

Two hours later you open your eyes again.

And you call me:

"Bella…"

It's a rough whisper, but I've been waiting for it for a long time.

"Hey" I retort in the same volume and with a weak smile.

You seem to realize that I really am here, and suddenly you're even more awake.

You look at me and I recognize your expression.

You want to apologize, but you don't know how.

What you don't know is that I have already forgiven you.

Because you're here.

**Okay, so this is the chapter. Hope you liked it. Please let me know, I would love to hear what you think of the story. **

**Kisses, Lucía.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay so… this is the translation of **_**Sólo Una, **_**if anyone of you is curious, or would rather read it in Spanish, check it out.**

**This is the last chapter… and it's in Edward's point of view ;)**

**Enjoy it.**

_**I don't own any recognizable characters, and… yeah, that's it.**_

_I suppose that since most of our hurts come through_

_relationships, so will our healing_

(W. Paul Young)

EPOV

I want to shit on everything in this world for the fucking bullet that decided it would be fun to mess my right shoulder up.

But I would settle with shitting on the mad man that arrived at the room aiming a gun while screaming in Arabic, or whatever it was he was screaming in. It's not like he gave me the time to translate.

I feel useless.

How can I make up for what I did if I can't fucking move right? It narrows a lot the possibilities.

I get out of the car with your help and we walk towards our house. You take my left hand, the good one, and kiss the back of it.

You're the most patient, selfless, attentive and generous person I've ever met, and since I woke up you've been three times better with me.

It's strange, because even if I've apologized I haven't kneeled on the floor for forgiveness yet. You told me it didn't matter, that it was alright, but I do care about the fact that you think I don't love you enough to stay with you, that I would rather keep my job.

Because it's not true.

In fact, even if you don't know it, when I finish recovering I'll leave my job.

Because you can be a doctor anywhere, you don't necessarily have to go to the war.

And you're not the only one that misses someone when I'm gone.

It's been a few weeks, and even though I can't make big efforts, I'm able to move my arm.

Guess which one of the big efforts I miss most.

I never thought that much strength was needed, but it seems I can't make love to my girlfriend normally. It's being fucking hard because she's gorgeous. Everything she does shows her beauty; inside and out.

Yeah, I love you.

And I hate not being able to show you.

Now, I'm waiting on the bed for you to get out of the bathroom.

You're taking longer than usual, and when you open the door, I know why.

You're wearing one of those lingerie outfits that make my jaw drop, and to top it all, it's dark blue. You look like a goddess.

You lean against the doorframe and look at me through your lashes.

I'm speechless, but I think the enormous tent in my boxers says it all.

Well, I practically spend the whole day with one between my legs lately, but this one's huge.

You approach slowly and climb to the bed.

I swallow the knot in my throat.

With or without a shoulder, you're going to be mine tonight.

You crawl towards me and sit on my lap, straddling my body and with my tent right… _there._

I let out a growl that makes you smile.

I think you want to kill me.

I press my forehead to yours and look you in the eyes.

"I love you" I say with a husky voice.

"I love you" you repeat softly.

That's all I need.

I assault your mouth with mine and while our tongues dance, I take your underwear off. I have your arms around my neck and your hands in my hair, at the same time that mine is trying to unclasp your bra while you rub yourself against me.

We have a problem.

I can't unclasp your bra with my left hand. Is it had been the right one, then it would have been easy, but I'm not left-handed.

I'm embarrassed and I don't want to tell you, but we can't go on like this, so after a few more shots, I give up.

"I can't".

"What?" you say confused "you don't have to make efforts; I'll take care of it".

"No, it's not that-"

"Please, Edward, I need you" you beg, ignoring me "it's been so long".

"It's not that" I try again, with less patience. But you don't listen.

"Please".

"Fucking hell, it's not that!" I scream at top volume, stressed out, pushing you away from me.

When I look at you, I regret doing that. I've frightened you, and you're looking at me with very open eyes, breathing hard.

You're scared of me.

What a big fuck-up.

I try to fix it the best I can.

"Bella, love, I'm sorry" I say softly while I approach you slowly.

You cover yourself with the sheet and get away from me, going towards the bathroom, walking backwards.

Because you don't see where you put your feet, you trip and fall to the floor.

"Bella!" I run to you and kneel by your side, checking for injuries. I stoke your face and kiss you everywhere, just in case "are you alright? I'm so sorry, sweetheart".

You hug me. You grab my shoulders and hide your head in my neck, so I hold you tightly to me.

But I freak out when I feel something wet in my skin.

I hate seeing you cry.

I place my hands on your cheeks and make you look at me to tell me the reason of your tears.

"I'm sorry" you apologize and hide your face again.

I'm stunned, what do you have to apologize for?

"What are you sorry for, honey?"

You wipe your tears with the back of your hands and I rub mine against your back tenderly.

"Everything" you sob "I'm sorry for screaming at you before you left. I don't want to make you choose between your job and me. That's cruel. I've been horrible and you're always good to me. I thought you were angry with me because you didn't talk to me" shit, I should have known you would twist it that much "but then I almost lose you, and now I do nothing but overwhelm you. And I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad at me".

"Hey, hey" I run my fingertips along your cheek "it's me who owes you an apology. To begin with, I didn't call you because I thought that what we had to talk about would be better explained in person, and you are not overwhelming me" I lower my voice and say "I need you, too, so much more than you know. Never think I don't".

I kiss your cheek and taking advantage of your position on my lap, I bring you closer.

I place all your hair on one side and kiss your neck, drawing a trail from your shoulder to your jaw.

You tilt your head for better access and whisper my name. I lift you with one arm and lay you down on the bed.

I get past your shoulder and start to kiss your collarbone while my hands try to weaken yours so you drop the sheet.

You do.

I take it out of the way.

You're beautiful, but I know how you would be even more.

"Marry me".

Being my wife.

**This is the end of the story... I guess you know her answer :)**

**Please comment and let me know your opinion, I'd love to hear it.**

**Kisses, Lucía.**


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